A Good Man….9 Characteristics

The following is taken from the motivational speaker,  Steve Pavlina.  Check out his website for much more.

The following is 9 characteristics of a good man.

1. A man makes real decisions.  A man understands and respects the power of choice.  He lives a life of his own creation.  He knows that life stagnates when he fails to decide and flourishes when he chooses a clear path.  When a man makes a decision, he opens the door to what he wants and closes the doors on what he doesn’t want or needs or is good for him.  There is no guarantee he’ll reach his goal, and he knows this, but he doesn’t need such guarantees.  A man doesn’t require the approval of others but will seek it when he wants it or his decisions could impact the lives of others he is responsible for/accountable to.  He’s willing to follow his heart wherever it takes him. When a man if following his heart-centered path, it’s of little consequence if the entire world is against him

2. Be willing to fail.  A man is willing to make mistakes; admit to his mistakes.  He’s willing to be wrong.  He’d rather try and fail than do nothing.  A man’s self-trust is one of his greatest assets.  When he second-guesses himself by worrying about failure, he diminishes himself.  An intelligent man considers the prospect of failure, but he doesn’t preoccupy himself with pointless worry.  He accepts that if a failure outcome occurs, he can deal with it.  A man grows more from failure than he does from success.  Success cannot test his resolve in the way that failure can.  Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk.  When a man plays it safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge.

3. Be confident. A man speaks and acts with confidence.  He owns his attitude.  A man is willing to be defeated by the world.  He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond his control.  But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt.  He knows that when he stops trusting himself, he is surely lost.  He’ll surrender to fate when necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear.

4. Expresses love actively.  A man is an active giver of love, not a passive receiver.  A man is the first to initiate a conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed and the first to say “I love you”.  Waiting for someone else t make the first move is unbecoming of him.  The universe does not respond positively to his hesitation.

5. Re-channel sex energy.  A man doesn’t hide his sexuality.  If others shrink from him because he’s too masculine, he allows them to have their reaction. There’s no need for him to lower his energy just to avoid frightening the timid.  A man accepts the consequences of being male; he makes no apologies for his mature.  A man is careful not to allow his energy to get stuck at the level of lust.  He re-channels much of his sexual energy into his heart and head, where it can serve his higher values instead of just his animal instincts. A man re-channels his sexual energy into heart-centered pursuits.

6. Face your fears. For a man, being afraid of something is reason enough to do it.  A man’s fear is a call to be tested.  When a man hides from his fears, he knows he’s fallen out of alignment with his true self.  He feels weak, depressed and helpless.  No matter how hard he tries to comfort himself and achieve a state of peace, he cannot overcome his inner feelings of dread.  Only when facing his fears does s man experience peace. A man succeeds or fails. A coward never makes the attempt.  Specific outcomes are of less concern to a man than his direction.

7. Honoring the masculinity of other men.  When a man sees a male friend undertake a new venture that may fail, what does he do? The man honors his friend’s decision to reach out and make the attempt.  The man won’t deny his friend the benefits of a failure experience. The may offer his friend guidance, but he knows his friend must fail repeatedly in order to develop self-trust and courage.

8. Accept responsibility for your relationships.  A man chooses his friends, lovers and associates consciously.  He actively seeks out the company of people who inspire and challenge him and he is willingly sheds those who hold him back.  A man holds himself accountable for the relationships he allows into his life.  He holds others accountable for their behavior but he holds himself accountable for his decisions to tolerate such behavior.

9. Die well.  When a man is satisfied that he’s done all he can do to develop himself, he can make peace with death.  But if he fails to do so, death becomes his enemy and haunts him all the days of his life.  A man cannot die well unless he lives well.  A man lives well when he accept his mortality and draws strength from knowing that his physical existence is temporary.  When a man faces and accepts the inevitability of death…when he learns to see death as his ally instead of his enemy, he’s able to express his true self.