A couple came in recently….grandparents, wanting to discuss rules to set before their grandson moves in. They brought in a list of rules/expectations they had created. It is the best set of expectations I’ve seen…so I thought I’d share them with you.
- Chores. The grandson would be given a list of household chores. He had to pick, I think 3-4 that he had to do every week (or he would lose a privilege). He could also opt to do an extra chore (a bigger one, like mow the yard), for which he would be paid.
- Curfew. They listed their curfew times for him. Not negotiable. They allowed his curfew to be later on Friday and Saturday nights but not beyond the legal curfew.
- Study time. They expected a set amount of time for the youth to study, either at the dining room table or in his bedroom, with the door open.
- Special events (i.e., basket/football games, etc.). They expected him to let them know 2-3 days before the event, ask permission to go and if they consented, they expected him to put it on the family calendar.
- Civility. They expected him to say “Hello” to them upon arriving home, “Good morning”, “Good night”, and “Good bye”.
- Meals together. They expected him to eat 2-4 meals with them a week, depending on practices and his work schedule.
- Privacy. They expected him to have his bedroom door open at particular times….study time, anytime there was a girl in his bedroom, and when unknown friends were visiting (until they were known to the grandparents).
- Transportation. They expected him to use his bike with temperatures above 40 degrees and to ask 1-3 days ahead of time if he needed them to take him to/from or wanted the use of their car.
- Accidents. He is expected to report all accidents (in-home or away, minor or major) immediately and would be granted amnesty, unless the circumstances were grossly irresponsible.
- Doctor appointments. He must make them aware of all doctor appointments; he must go; they will be taking on the “parental part” of any treatments and he must follow-through with any doctor recommendations.
- Checking and savings accounts. He must open such and put them on the accounts. He must allow all checks/withdrawal to be counter-signed by them. He must put 1/3 of his paychecks in his savings, 1/3 in checking and 1/3 will be for him to spend as he wishes.
- Employment. He must have a part-time job, even if he plays a sport at school.
- Specific rules. Specific rules could be added as needed, i.e., No sitting in grandpa’s chair in the living room.
This was the most complete list I have ever seen a couple comprise. Kudos to them.