Is This Really Fight-Worthy?

“The next time you’re about to freak over his not remembering your coworker’s name again, as yourself this question:  Will you give a crap one year from now?  A new study in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that this ‘future thinking’ trick made people less likely to blame their partners during an argument and more likely to forgive them after the fight.  The authors reason that pausing a moment to gain some perspective when you’re miffed can prevent the heat of the moment from clouding your mind (and filling your mouth with words you can’t take back).  And, since you’re seeing the future in a better light, you may expect your bond to get stronger over time, which (yay!) can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.”  — Women’s Health Magazine, November 2016

This is a very short article from Women’s Health Magazine (November 2016).  When I read interesting articles, I’ll post them in my waiting room.  Those that get a lot of positive comments, I’ll then post them on my blog.  This one has gotten a lot of praise.

Basically it says, when mad at your partner about something, will it matter in one year, or month, or week.  Good question; it helps to put in perspective what we say to our loved one.

What it doesn’t address is the cumulative effect of relationships; that tendency for many small issues to accumulate…..and then some small issue comes up, the dam breaks, and the fight is on.  How do you address the cumulative effect?  Address small issues as they come up.

This may sound circular but the overall point is that before we speak, we try to calm ourselves and think about the words we use.