Post -Divorce Issues

I never knew there was so much to divorce until I got divorced!  Now, that may be a terrible thing to say, as a therapist but it is honest.  I have learned SO much about life, relationships and living since my divorce; and I bring that to those I now work with seeking help after a divorce.

When I am working with someone who is seeking assistance living post-divorce, I encourage them to examine (and redefine) their thoughts about divorce, who gets divorced and how they see themselves. Personally, I believe, as a result of my divorce,  I am a better potential partner now (than before divorcing). In the same way now, I strive to help others learn from their divorce and start a new life.

Another constant issue presenting itself in my office in this area is how to parent post-divorce. This is a sensitive issue. It involves helping either person see situations from both perspectives (yours and theirs) and deciding what to do in the future that is best for the children (first) and yourself. Difficult work…but very possible.

Related issues includes responding to your children’s relationship with the other parent (despite your personal feelings), your ex-spouse beginning to date and exposing your children to these individuals, working with your ex-spouse to get your children to activities/events, etc. Again, difficult topics but manageable.

Another VERY challenging issue is dating/marriage post-divorce.

If ever there was an issue that demands that you have a good sense of who you are, this is it. I have realized, through my own work, that I needed to know who I am before I can decide what I want in my life. This is essential if relationships post-divorce is going to be satisfying, nurturing, sustaining.